you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
