i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
