I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
