there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I wish there were birth control emojis
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
