the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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