I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Randomize
