I'm lost and stupid without you.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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