gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I am available for nakedness
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
