Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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