you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
