yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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