never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
