I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
tonight lets celebrate not being married
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
