And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
