just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
