If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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