NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
