Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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