we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
MIDGETS
????
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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