When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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