why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Sorry my hands just texted you
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
