sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
