I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
