Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
