She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize