xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
