is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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