i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
