so explain again why im purple
no
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I currently don't understand fingers.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
