He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
