you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
