Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
