The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
