I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
