I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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