Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
as a side note pls kill me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
