Well douche your snatch and let's go!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
