I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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