i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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