I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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