im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
