Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
