I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
