we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
