two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
