This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Don't make out with my wife yet
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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