so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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