??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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