can we get nightvision for the apartment?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
