guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
