This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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